Child of God
The child

shifeng/jasmine/seehong/sunma/poots (whatever u call me!!)
21 so old =(
01081986
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previous posts

wah. i just realized the last blog post was dated ...
what i want to say is, Daddy God you NEVER FAIL to...
today's definitely not one of my better days. =(
ok i'm in the youth hub manning youth hub. let me ...
once again i'm back! after taking a looong hiatus ...
ahh let me set the record straight. i got study ok...
i'm here to blog!!!today's flow of events.. 10am: ...
today is Miracle Seed Sunday!!! =)) Expect expect ...
[ ` *wenbin* ` ] [11th] ~ ウェンビン *~ says:hahah dun...
alright can liao. sighs. another ktv session. 3 co...


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Sunday, May 28, 2006

( @ 8:57:00 PM )

i really detest moments like this.. when i am forced to think. especially when it concerns what's going to happen next.. yupp. i hate to think. i am comfortable with resting with my feelings, going with the flow.. call me lazy but that's what i am. give me a choice, i'll take the easier way out. but unfortunately, and at most of the times, things does not permit so...

Ignorance is Bliss.

i really noe the depth of this statement now.. it's much easier to lie comfortably within the circumference of my states of happiness and bliss, or rather, my contents of satisfaction. it's funny how i like to beat around the bush when i blog in order not to create opportunities for others to start any juicy rumour etc. then again, what's the point of spilling out your unhappiness when you censor half of your own words?

It's amazing how EASILY one can tread on other people's toes without knowing.. and then when you realise it, you wonder where did you go wrong? and then next you start to rationalize with the bland statement =you can't please everybody= but it doesnt make you feel any better. because the feeling isn't nice at all.

there's really not even an ounce of bitterness in me. just a little dry hope for the weakling me in standing strong. i've never been strong. that word simply doesn't go well with me. i cry at little things. it makes me feel useless at times, but it does makes me feel better. my grip is loosening by the second. i'll be myself.

however, i'm thankful. for the beautiful people around me. for these people approach me without masks. i love you guys. =)



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Saturday, May 27, 2006

( @ 8:28:00 PM )

i guess i should expect the horrible grades. but i couldnt stop crying. dissappointed. extremely. i think i have the lowest cap score in NUS. =.( and it doesnt help when the people you wish for to be by your side are not. it hurts. quite badly..

anyway special mention to my sweet family members who showered me with truckloads of comfort. thankew! *hugs* to jason who bothered to ask me when he saw that i wasn't feeling right..who tried comforting me..to shilin jie who threw me this ferrero rocher which really cheered me up a little. and Amily who offered her company, her jokes and her laughter to make me smile. thankew! =) Thank Lord for the angels He placed around me..

negatively, i guess i'm really dissappointed with certain people around me. i shan't bother any longer.



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( @ 9:48:00 AM )

argh. =( i feel kinda confused. yet, i'm not really sure what i'm confused about. i dunno how to continue dragging myself along. bruising myself occasionally.. no.. the bruises are not made by other people but myself. i don't feel extremely troubled nor sad.. but there's this tugging pain inside. the capacity needed for comfort is overwhelming. i feel suffocated.

one more hour to the release of my second semester results.. i know i'm not expecting much. i dreamt twice about it. the first time i got a cap score of 2.6. was devastated. second time round.. 2.0.. =.(

on a lighter note..i was accepted to GAW. =) nice people in the comm.



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Friday, May 19, 2006

( @ 12:22:00 PM )

i'm really bored lea. HOW? =( tried finding something to do. but there's completely and literally NOTHING i can do! sobs! will be meeting ah zhor later to discuss some stuff and that's it! sigh. and i should add that i gotta help out at marina at night. sighs.

i think i should find something to do. that has completely nothing to do with money. boredom is killing me...! oh my mum decides to sponsor my driving lessons. and i don't haf to look for a job afterall. sighs. =( so which means, i have nothing to do! and i've come to realise tt i'll probably not get into gaw which means.........boredom again. sigh.

and i can't make it for TH tmr. sian. i need to go there for my external hunt stuff too. and i kinda miss the residents. i miss them. sobs. and i feel like a traitor..for only gg for CSL right at this moment. sobs. i'll go there the next time i can!!!

i simply can't stop whining.



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( @ 10:54:00 AM )

i'm bacK! hmm..feeling lonely without my bffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff =( sigh sigh. i think i'm being over-stickied to him. that's not good. =( but i hate feeling lonely!!! let's hope this is just temporary. i shall learn not to rely on him! =D but he has been awfully patient with me and accompanying me whenever he can. so i guess i shouldnt ask more from him!

btw i need to meet up with the szeling and olivia. wahaha. i miss them. and besides..we havent celebrated their birthday!!! so if u two are reading it now...pls find me for an outing k? missed you guys!!! =)

hrm..my mum doesnt let me get a job!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaa=( i need a job coz my allowance is being reduced by ALOT! sigh. blame it on my money wasting habit. sobs! =( so if i don't get into GAW..i have nothing else to do!!!!!!!!! heeeeelp! =( sobs!!!!! so what can i do if i don't have MONEY, or my bf with me.. =( no money means no shopping. no money means cannot go out with friends..no money means..sobs.

i'm at it again. sigh.

SLK!!! yesterday got scolding from my mom becoz of the packet of crackers around my house! we need to have our steamboat FAST. wahahahaha. please tell me wheeeen!!??

oh i haven't blogged about last CSL visit... i was supposed to be organising the games for that day.. so we played GoD is watching, Squirrel and hunter and Dog and Bone..haha. i'm a horrible organizer. =( was a little affected coz many kids got really unhappy. sobs. but i must say, it was a different and useful experience. =) i still love the kids tho.. =) muacks!!! and the volunteers that day helped me plenty!! couldn't do without them..=D

have things to do BEFORE the camp. haha. esp the 'scavenger hunt.' i think i'll be scared. =X and i think i have to go for most trials as my AKC cannot make it for them. sobs! i hate running! haha. but tt's the least i can do for my grp and the organisers of the camp! think they are doing a great job!!!

before i end..just wanna say a huge big thankew to my new jie mei! for accompanying me when i've been bored etc. thankew!!! you're the bestest sister one can ever find! =)



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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

( @ 9:14:00 PM )

i think i'm the world most fortunate girl around!!!!!! =D i have the bestest friends, family and BF around!!! =) yes i do! i love all of u!!!!! anyway just read twinie's blog and i really hope you are alright and fine!! please cheer up twinie!! i noe those sorta days.... SLK's here! ur favourite twinie is here too!!!! *hugs*

hmmx. have had sooooooooo much fun recently..today was fright night briefing! =) hmm. excited!!!! just hope we'll have freshies to enjoy everything!!! hehe. i'm really happy! and there's CSL tmr and it'll be fun and smooth i hope. *crosses fingers* it really lifts up my spirit truckloads to see them have fun.. even though there will be loads of screaming etc. haha. i love the kids there! oh yah.. tmr got mi mi wu qi..a new whistle!!! heeez..

tmr will be exciting!! i will be going for this thai buffet at this restaurant in river view hotel! i hope it'll be good! i love food! haha. have nothing else to update le....have a wonderful week ahead yah? =)



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Friday, May 12, 2006

( @ 10:31:00 PM )

HELLO! *waves!* feeling quite sian actually.. =( kinda bothered by something..yet i can tell no one coz it'll probably complicate yet possibly simple things... but i'm still bothered! grrr. and i don't know what to do. i guess i'll just rest my worries on Him.

this week was rather....eventful=) that's kinda good i guess! let me start off with the first day of the week! Sunday!

SUNDAY brought rh and junhui to new creation! haha. rh was sooo tired after his soccer match.. but he still rushed over for me! thankew dear =) *hugs* junhui was nice toO! heh. he came for the service and i guess he enjoyed himself! it was a good service.=D by pastor lian? i hope i got her name right. oh and i went to topshop and got myself two tops! it was nice of them to tag along.. heh. =D

hmm. MONDAY went swimming. and we met people we knew. arrrrrrrrgggggggggggh! it was sooooo embarrassing! anyway we still had fun! with the two people we met. the YELLOW slide shocked me. i didnt even had time to scream. =S it was pasaar malam after that! lotsa food and yummy yummy ones too! dear bought a pair of decent pants which costs....hmmmm 12 bucks onlie! good buy eh! and the pants are nice too!

TUESDAY!! wahah. SLK DAY! i love u siao langs!!! =) i'm really really sorry about the room that we couldnt use!!! really. sorry!! we wore our pj uniforms which was still rather fitting for all of us! haha. but we were ah lians tt day. me with my dyed hair. i tried to de-lianise myself already...tied my hair and wore white socks. but to no avail!!! anyways...shiqi had dyed hair too. wahaha.. and she insisted on wearing her bright earrings. waha. and the PJC TIE! salute her! haha. Rahel insisted on her OUT-OF-BED look. wahah. totally ah lian. and twinie with the only one with the only black hair..let down her hair WITH slippers. another ah lian. so four ah lians were strutting around GIANT. hahahha. but we had fun fun fun=) thankew dearies=) kbox wasn't wonderful but it was indeed nice to have u guys around. BTW, the frozen meatballs and shrimps and tidbits are still at my house. when are u guys COMING?
oh tt day had group four outing..so sorry guys! could only join u all for awhile.. but i guess u guys had loads of fun as usual!!! =)

WEDNESDAY..oh..we had councillor briefing day...hmm it was a funny briefing...with fun games. wahah.=D then supposed to head to settlers for AGAPO outing.. but i couldnt make it coz i really wanted to go for CSL at night...and it's too far. so...i'm really sorrrry!!!!! speaking of AGAPO..i guess i miss the times we (junhui, terence, edwin n the rest) hung around....ktv sometime yes? =D CSL was woooooooooondeeeeerful. i had so much fun with all the crazy kids dashing to and fro. they were literally crazy. we only had like 7 volunteers with 40 kids. and we had to play poison ball, growing up and dog&bone. wahahaha. our ear drums were close to bursting. but it was all joy and fun. i love them=) i really do! makes me think of mindsville. shall make sure i go back the next visit!!! hmm. tt night had dear to stay over coz it was too late already. haha. dun xiang wai. he slept in my house's empty room while i slept with my mum! =D

THURSDAY...watched VCDS with dear in the morning and he left for MC outing... missed him! and i had to stay home to do accounting!!!!!!! but it wasn't that bad. it kept me from rotting. hahha. and it made my mum slightly happier. =) i love you mum! anyway it also gave me a bonus for permission for my outing on friday. .. waha...

FRIDAy. which is today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wat and exciting day! it is our group four outing!!!!!! fun fun fun at Sentosa! it was actually a birthday celebration for Yiwen and Joochuan! =) hAppie earlIe Bday! anyways..we headed for sentosa after decorating PRETTY shirts for them. it's really pretty with gay colours like pink purple etc. wahah. i'm sure they liked it plenty! we went to tanjong beach and spent half our time putting sunblock on ourselves. hahaha. we started off with volleyball. i was horrible. hahha. but my nicey group mates taught me how to play. hahaha. really enjoy every moment with them! den we played monkey in the middle. just as fun too! laters was inside the water..i was worried about jelly fish. honestly worried abt it!!! but yiwen and gang thought i was plain crazy. haha. anyways there's this little boy who irritated both yiwen and christine. wahahahah. it was good humour though... hmm den sock khim came with yummmmmmmmmmy cake. so nice!!! wahaha. after that was Ultimate Captain's ball. fun too with sock khim, yiwen, and rh in my team. wahah. we played BEAT, OUCH, ORBI ORBI which was PAINFUL! and the final final game was stockbroker. WAHA. funny and fun!!!
we headed lastly for dinner at cartel which was yummyyy too. i love food =) oh yuzheng became my AH ZHOR. which is my great grand-daddy. and joochuan will be my ah gong if i find him a son. haha...okay lah i guess that's it.

hmm. if u realised..all the days spent i had time with renhong...am i being too reliant on him? am i occupying too much of his time? i dunno =( but i do noe i seek alot of attention from him and he's being awfully patient with me. i should be reasonable and be sensible =( but that thought doesn't exactly please me. but i'll try =) for him=) i'll do anything.



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